Sahar Joakim, Ph.D.
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Life is difficult

5/28/2020

 
Life is difficult. Trust me. I would know. Life used to be hard for me because I was soft. I became tough, and still ran into challenges. It’s not that I’m still too weak, it’s that life is difficult.

Life is difficult because we often casually hold ourselves back from progress. You could be laying awake at midnight after a long day of feeling tired at work. Laying there, a great idea comes to you. You know you won’t remember it in the morning. Maybe your kid just finally fell asleep in your arms, maybe your spouse is sleeping with their arm around you, maybe your mistress would say something awkward if you moved and they accidentally woke, or maybe you’re laying alone but are too lazy to write the idea. Whatever the specific reason, there’s something holding us back from cashing in. Either we hold ourselves back or we give something the power over us to hold us back. Either way, we don’t progress.

Life is difficult because it’s not easy to mature. Growing pains are easy to numb. Stunting our growth comes at the price we can all afford. Paying attention is expensive. It’s painfully honest for a reason. We grow from being big enough to speak our truth come what price may.

If most people are fake, then there is no incentive to be genuine. Fitting in well is comfortable. Standing out means scrutiny. So long as we commonly pretend we’re doing our best, no one has to work too hard. We can remain on coast and all win. Stay soft. Say life is plain hard. No pressure to get tougher and overcome.

Life is difficult because the choice is ours to make whether we want to fight for goodness. No one makes the decision for you. Though some will lead you astray. The paths to righteousness are not marked well. Falling into temptation is easy, falling off the good path comes quick and spins out of control. Remaining good with your soul requires constant and continuous work.

Will you work hard when you don’t have to? The question is will you? Exactly that. Do you will it? It is not about what you want. You want success. Wanting does not mean willing to do what is required. Doing what is required does not always involve doing what is wanted. Willing the good involves doing what is required. Discipline, laws, rules, structure. These are the things that make us feel uncomfortable and take us beyond our comfort zones. Our emotions cringe. We are pained. And we grow. Progress. Improvement. Actual change comes from willing to do what is required. If you will it, then you will.

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    Links:

    On Defending a Dissertation During COVID
    On Being an Undergrad at UCLA
    On Studying Philosophy (Interview)
    APA Member Interview: Sahar Joakim
    On Earth's Tears, Sahar Joakim's Poem
    On Growth, Sahar Joakim's Poem

    ​Sahar's Poem
    on Philosophy
    is published on
    page five of

    Meditations,
    ​UCLA
    ​(Winter 2014)
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